Welcome
Welcome to my recently rehabbed potpourri of book reviews, dreams, photos, poems, ruminations, and stories. I invite you to poke around, ponder, and share if you like.
As part of a basketball tournament my younger niece was participating in, I found a display at my Aunt D’s house. Most of the coaches had provided their players’ photos and statistics on boards, but my brother had sent a large box of disintegrating old books and a small box of photos that had been ruined when someone colored out whole areas with a crayon.
Some of the photos were of a beach vacation at a place where the summer light lasted all night, and I kept thinking of Niagara Falls. The photos made me long to be at that half-lit, surreal beach again, which I thought I remembered but didn’t.
When I looked again in one hallway, all the displays were gone. The next hallway was also empty. I was going to call my parents to pick me up, but had put my mobile phone aside.
Toward the back of the otherwise empty house, I found some women waiting for an elevator. One of them told me my aunt’s house was huge, even after she’d closed off much of it. This part was used for this elevator, which transported these women undergrounds so they could get to their organization in the farmhouse across the field. All of this intrigued me, but I wished I had my phone so I could leave.
Somehow I found myself carrying a bucket of ice for this organization across the field. Instead of delivering it, however, I dumped it out into one of the field’s rows, where it mixed instantly with the dirt to become mud.
I continued to dream about the land where the sun never sets and my aunt’s limitless house.
A vampire had threatened to get me, only I didn’t know how. Soon I recognized him near me in different guises, first as a child, then as an elderly woman who changed into a beautiful young woman. I wasn’t afraid to use my strength even against such incongruous characters, but each succeeded in biting me, usually in the arm, but not enough to break the skin. I felt strong but also like he might be toying with me.
I’d gotten into an elevator with a cousin who was sitting in a folding chair. The elevator started to go down with him, but my feet weren’t touching the floor. I panicked, although at times my feet did touch. The elevator stopped between floors, with the chair now folded up against the door and me suspended, yet not suspended. It was nighttime, and I began to fear that we would never be found.
No matter what kind of home entertainment setup you have, it probably features a clear cable or satellite picture, even if it’s not digital or high definition, and a remote control that means having to get up only for the necessities (input and output).
In the 1960s and 1970s chez Schirf, I didn’t grow up with the crisp lines and vibrant colors that Comcast delivers today to my high-definition box and 32-inch TV. To capture the available TV signals broadcast by stations in Western New York and Ontario, Canada, we leased an antenna.
I don’t know about anyone else’s TV antenna, but ours needed nearly constant adjustment, which depended on the station we were watching. In good weather, the three major network stations in Buffalo (ABC, CBS, and NBC) came in clearly most of the time, while the local UHF stations and those across the way in Ontario were marred by visual “snow” and aural static. Depending on weather and other conditions, it might not be watchable.
That’s where turning the antenna came in.
On Saturday afternoons at 1 p.m., my dad watched wrestling broadcast by a Kitchener, Ontario station. That meant that, at some time before 1, after lunch and washing the dishes, one of us would be dispatched to turn the antenna, while some else stood near the TV and the window to call out directions: “No, getting worse . . . turn the other way . . . keep going . . . no, too far . . . back . . . that’s good . . . there!”
The antenna was at the top of a long pole set into a pipe in the ground, which I’m sure was my dad’s do-it-yourself setup. The pole was tall, the hole had widened over the years, and the antenna made the whole thing a little top heavy, especially if there was a wind. It was heavy and hard to turn, and had to be turned slowly. I remember standing outside in the weather, fighting the wind. Of course, the same wind could sometimes turn the antenna enough to make the picture snowy, and sometimes the picture would alternate between bad and worse as the wind rocked the antenna. The picture might be bad but tolerable if the program on was one you really wanted to watch. At times it would be unwatchable. When that happened, it was time to find an alternative or turn off the TV — there was no Internet to turn to.
In the early 1990s, Chicago Cable TV mistakenly cut off my cable. To my surprise, Walgreens still sold rabbit ears with a UHF loop, so I bought a pair. My apartment was at the end of a courtyard, which may have been why they didn’t work very well. I kept them until I moved in 2003, when I tossed many non-necessities. I’m not sure how they’d connect to the flat-screen LG TV I bought in July 2010.
Antenna are still sold; the FCC provides a guide to “Antennas and Digital Television.” When I’ve traveled through small towns and rural areas, I’ve seen some antennas, although they are outnumbered by satellite dishes. I spotted these two on the return trip from Kankakee River State Park, although I’m guessing that no one has to go out to turn them and that no one has to stand inside by the window calling out directions about picture quality. And that, like the rest of us, these residents are continuing the time-honored tradition of complaining that “there’s nothing good on TV.” Whether you have eight channels or 800, there’s only so much “reality” you can take.
I’d settle for curling in Canada.
On the day after Christmas, four of us set out for Benezette, Pennsylvania, which seems to be near the heart of Pennsylvania elk country. It’s an impoverished small town, where a “Hunters Welcome” banner takes the place of the “Bikers Welcome” message that seems to be more common in parts of Illinois and Wisconsin. The houses and other establishments are nestled on steep hillsides, in some cases precariously, or so it looks. A few places are owned by candidates for the “Hoarders” TV show, with disintegrating lumber, parts, and trash strewn everywhere.
We discovered the most interesting part of town as we were leaving — a small enclave that lies beyond a wide, expensive-looking modern bridge culminating in a narrow dirt road, like a Pennsylvania version of the “bridge to nowhere.” Beyond the bridge are houses at various stages of upkeep, but the most surprising feature was a railroad line or spur running parallel to the hillside with dozens of rusting cars frozen in time where they’d been left. To the locals, this may not seem unusual, but to me the combination of the oversized bridge, the dirt access road, and the little neighborhood clustered around the abandoned rail line and cars seemed surreal, like the perfect setting for a vaguely disturbing movie. Summer sunshine and greenery would make it only the more haunting.
When my cousin and his wife had visited Benezette before, part of the elk herd had been lounging about in town, including at the tavern with the “Hunters Welcome” sign. We’d seen some in some fields off to the side and some at a picnic area near or in town. We passed through and came to the Elk Country Visitor Center, which looks like a fairly new building and features a gift shop, discovery room, and elk mounted at various stages of life, including a couple that were still spotted. Outside the trees, like most of those on all the private property we’d passed, were protected; the dirt had been disturbed by many hooves; and “biscuits” were piled in several places. Despite the evidence of previous visits by elk, not one was to be seen here.
While driving around, we found a herd of up to 75 in a field near a building maybe a half mile off — too far to get a good look at without binoculars or a camera with a zoom lens. Still, it was beautiful to watch their shapes moving about or lying down against the setting sun.
We spotted one or two in the bushes alongside the road, but the one that came down toward a break in the fence couldn’t make up her mind to cross. Finally, she retreated slowly.
After checking out the Benezette bridge to nowhere, we passed the picnic grounds again, where more elk and more cars had congregated. Like others, I got out of the car to take photos, but the elk, intent on grazing, ignored all of us and our car doors until a clueless woman broke the relative quiet by screeching, “Oh, look at the baby!” (the “baby” being at least half grown). As a group, the elk spooked a bit, trotting away from her — and toward me as I snapped happily away, a lot closer than the recommended minimum of 30 yards. I was disappointed only not to get a photo of an elk lying under the “Hunters Welcome” sign.
I had no idea I’d have an opportunity to see elk during this vacation, so it was a great thrill. You can find out more about Pennsylvania’s wapiti here and here.
If you’re an introvert like me, take Sophia Dembling’s quickie survey on how introverts like to make connections. Go directly to the survey here.
There’s an old man who sells newspapers from a little shelter downtown. He’s there every weekday during the 5:00 rush hour, shivering in the cold or sweating under the sun. His eyes are sunken; his cheeks are hollow. He looks neither healthy nor happy. Lonely, silent, melancholy.
Half-sitting on the bench on which the newspapers are folded, he used to quietly wait for a passerby to buy a paper. When someone did (and this seemed rare), he would slowly hand him the paper, accept the coin, and quietly say, “Thank you.” But even a sale did not lift the burden from his slightly stooped shoulders, and his sad, withdrawn expression never changed.
Later, he seemed to realise that he had to compete with the more aggressive young newsboys, whose harsh cries of “Final Times—final Tribune” disturbed the already busy air. He too would say, “Tribune—Times,” but his voice was quiet and hesitant like a whisper, as though he did not think his new boldness would boost sales. He seemed to hold some small hope it would.
He is still there, in the same shelter. The same harassed, unhappy executives brush by him. The same gossiping, complaining secretaries still hurry past him. Few stop to buy the paper; fewer still exchange a kind word. None wonder about the old man: his past, his present, his future, his end. As for him, he still looks blankly past the parade passing by; still waits for the few who might purchase a paper.
Still waits.
Copyright © Diane L. Schirf
1980s/date unknown