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Dream: This is no place like home — 3 Comments

  1. I want to make a comment, but I hope you take it constructively. I like your style. Your imagery is great, but your execution is slightly pretentious. Less is more. You say things like “Adams wrote prodigious numbers of letters” If he writes a number of letters it’s understood to be prodigious, and “They don’t aspire to wealth, at least for now.” If they don’t aspire to wealth, one would assume that it’s now.

    Take this for what it’s worth. Maybe nothing.

  2. I always appreciate constructive criticism. I think I can justify the two examples, though.

    I write a number of letters. It’s a vague amount, but indicates several at least. But John and Abigail Adams wrote enormous (prodigious) numbers of letters, thousands of them. If I recall, no one’s ever gone through them in entirety because there are so many. I wanted to convey what prodigious signifies: Amazing, vast, impressive, extraordinary. I get cramps just thinking about it.

    The men don’t aspire to wealth now, but it occurred to me that that’s a logical next step. If they achieved the comfort of the middle class, aspiration to wealth would naturally follow, even if it hadn’t occurred to them yet. I wanted to indicate that, at least for now, they’re not going for it. But they will, most likely.

    I found Mary Barton difficult to review.

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