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eHarmony reject — 11 Comments

  1. If it makes you feel any better, I just went through the E-Harmony “system” and wigged out after six days b/c the assessment came out almost half wrong (Mind you, I’ve taken enough Myers-Briggs tests so I wasn’t haphazardly selecting answers), and I ended up with very little matches. We are talking 6 people, some in states too far to mention & none with similar interests, which is weird because there have to be people in Southern Cali who actually take in some culture, and another friend of mine who has given E-Harmony a shot said she matched up with nearly 100 people at one time. Well, thank God I got my money back by the end of the trial period.

    I think you are right about being too honest in your responses b/c I definitely think that most people choose to inaccurately misrepresent themselves. These people are clearly not INFPs like me and are likely not suffering from depression. Even if internet dating sites tend to have a larger pool of introverts, I guess I can’t totally blame E-Harmony for not being able to do much with an INFP. Really, forget being a E-Harmony reject. I’m more concerned about the greater implications of not being compatible with the world. Sigh — to be intelligent, creative, and idealistic, but not at all like other people makes me a tad troubled. Are we really that few in number?

  2. I am also a “eHarmony reject”. Like you, I’m not gay, nor have I been married more than twice (not at all in my case). I guess that leaves me in the depressed category, which, I will admit, I have been diagnosed with. Aparently, because I have a chemical inbalance, I am either unlovable or unworthy or someone’s love. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one out there.

  3. When my wife told me about eharmony’s unmatchable (not matchable) category by which it rejects those seeking love, I was shocked.

    Now after having done some research I find it is really happening.

    Don’t be alarmed, nor dismayed. Our loving Creator loves each and every individual human being with all their unique peculiarities. Truly there is somebody on earth for everybody to find a meaningful relationship.

    Paul F Davis – author of Almighty Matchmaker; Are You Ready for True Love?; and Breakthrough for a Broken Heart

    http://www.PaulFDavis.com

  4. I too am a reject of eharm and I’ve never been married,am 55 years old,and have never had any mental problems.
    Oh sure everyone has had their problems with some depression especially we singles.
    But from a common sense or a Christian point of view how can anyone with the power to help someone out of their lonliness not do so?

    • don’t worry about it. romantic “love” is bs anyway. Its the residue of primitive instinctual infant attachment that even in the best of cases only has a 50% success rate, if you consider success to be miserable yet still married that is. Even if you manage to have a good marriage, if you are female chances are good your spouse will die up to twenty years before you do. No cure for lonelyness that. Maybe your kids will come visit you. Maybe once a year you will see them. Good luck with all of that.

  5. That’s a good point—the lack of common or Christian compassion toward depression, which, as we are learning, is pretty widespread these days. And since many married people go through depressions, and since many depressed people are married, the logic itself doesn’t make sense. It’s not quite the same as, say, alcoholism.

  6. I have also just been rejected from Eharmony. I was wondering how I could be judged so harshly but now I know. I am not religious, plus the odd bouts of depression, when singledom seems so permanent!

  7. If I can draw attention to one of my pet peeves for a moment here on a three-year old blog post: the title “Doctor” (from Latin ‘docere’, to teach) was originally applied exclusively to people with doctorates. In some places, such as Germany, this is still the case.

    I agree that, accurate or not, obsessively putting a title in front of one’s name is pretty vain, and is usually a sign of crackpottery.

  8. Thanks for this. At least now I know it’s not me! After eHarmony rejected my application I felt so down as if they had simply stamped the word “Hopeless” on my head. Do they really reject you for saying you’re not jumping up and down with happiness and are not religious? I can’t believe it. What a waste of two hours of my life filling that form in so thoughtfully.

  9. Eharmony is a joke. I spent well over 2 hrs, answered all questions VERY honestly, including the one that I dream to meet & marry. I rated lots of question ‘important’. or vern ‘extremely important’, such as dependability, communication between the two, physical appearance, even sex. I’m not a lesbian, nor have I married twice, or depressed by any means. I’m educated, attractive, at the same time easy going, & really sweet. I think they reject people who have higher standards too, but isn’t this what we are looking for? To find someone that will match us & stay happy? But no, they cannot do that if your expectation is too high!

  10. The other possibilities, is that I’m not religious, and I’ve put those answers brutally honest on their questionnaire too. If that’s the reason they reject you, they should have made it very clear to start with instead of wasting any one’s time, energy & hope to find the one through their so called 29 dimension system. Mind you, religious belief has nothing to do with faith or being good people at all. Lots of people, not religious, but have great faith in themselves, and others, who help other people, the society, animals, environments, so on & so on. Hey, but you know what, if you are not religious, don’t try eharmony at all. – They should rename themselves as E-harmony-with-God, lol. In short, Eharmony is still a joke.

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