My Beefs (Beeves?)

In this section, I'm not going to talk about things that make me wonder about humanity, like child or animal abuse other inexplicable cruelties that people indulge in, nor am I going to discuss unfairness, injustice, or anything like that. Let's just say that a web page could never do them justice; I could write a tome on those subjects. I'm merely going to indulge in those minor pet peeves that cause me moments of irritability during the day and to wonder later what makes people think like they do. Please—I'd like your input as well.

I realise, too, that many of my beefs have to do with either stupidity or the human ego—the idea that some people have that they are more important than everyone else, all visible evidence to the contrary. Or both stupidity and ego.

Public Transportation

• When those on shopping sprees simply must take the bus at rush hour, as though they must be at the store at a certain hour. Bonus: When they drag large packages on the bus/train and take up two or three seats with them. Bonus 2: When they talk loudly to each other about, "The bus is awfully crowded. Why is that? Good thing we got on at one of the first stops so we could get seats!" Meanwhile, some poor guy whose been lugging packages at a mail center gets to stand yet another hour on the way home.

I've been told that "Shopping is hard work!" This makes me feel better. Especially since these people are the least likely to give up their priority seating for the disabled/elderly. An octogenarian with a walker can stand right in front of them and they suddenly get absorbed with something in another direction and just don't happen to notice.

• When a person virtually knocks over everyone else to be the first one to get onto an empty bus or train car. Is s/he afraid there won't be any seats left?
• When the above person then doesn't have her/his fare ready, but has to root around in purse or pocket for it while everyone else stands out in the heat/cold. People like this can add five or ten minutes to the journey. Do they suddenly realise, once on the bus, that they have to pay? Did they not know this before?
• When people plop hard next to you without looking and end up landing on you. Bonus: When they pretend they didn't half-sit on your thigh. Double bonus: When they don't apologise. Triple bonus: When they don't adjust their position and end up cutting off circulation to your leg.
• When people turn the vehicle into a rolling diner by bringing food or drinks on board. The smell of fish makes me nauseated and one of these days I think I'm going to stop controlling it and let them have it, if you follow me. Bonus: When they discard the garbage any old place. Bonus 2: When the same people are surprised to see cockroaches on the CTA.
• When people with portable music make sure we all hear it. Bonus: When they dance to it. Double bonus: When they sing or hum to it.
• When people sing or hum without accompaniment. If I wanted entertainment, I'd have brought my own.
• When people wait until the bus has stopped and disengaged a bunch of passengers, then decide to get up and get out after the driver has started pulling out from the stop. Bonus: When they ring the bell repeatedly and then get angry with the driver for not stopping just for them.
• The volume of the automated street announcements on some buses. I'm hearing impaired, and they're so loud they hurt even my ears.
• The constant chatter of the automated system. They tell you to be "considerate of other customers when using your cell phone." Then they program the system to chatter on and on with commercial announcements for the Chicago Card Plus, yadda, yadda, yadda, at a volume and in a way that is far more annoying than anyone on a cell phone could be.

Drivers

• When drivers won't pull over for emergency vehicles. They'd better hope it's not their home burning down.
• When drivers making right turns feel like they take priority over the pedestrians in the crosswalk. It's interesting how someone in a heated/air conditioned car is in so much more discomfort than people outside in the elements that they must force the pedestrians to pull up short while they cut a wake through them. This is more than just a beef, too, as I've nearly been hit a couple of times.
• When the light is flashing red and drivers go through it at 60 miles per hour plus as thought it were green. (Meanwhile, everyone else goes through the interesection cautiously, as they are supposed to.) I was within approximately two inches of getting killed once by a car that did this, and I'll never forget that particular adrenaline rush. All I can say is that, if he had gotten me, I would have done far more damage to his vehicle than a deer.
• When I'm on my bike and obeying the rules (and staying to the right as far as possible) and people still try to run me off the road. Someone did this to me when I was a teenager once. I hope they found it highly amusing as I ended up with a flat tire and had to walk two miles home with blood pouring from both knees (they had run me right into newly laid gravel). It's happened a few times since. That's why I refuse to ride with traffic any more. I want to see what's coming.
• When people drive with stereos blasting. Usually, I don't share their taste in music. Especially at 3 in the morning.
• When people park in the middle of the street and spend half an hour honking their horn for the person they came to pick up. Especially at 6 in the morning.

Personal

• Personal comments of any kind. I don't mean, "That's a lovely blouse." I mean, "You'd be prettier if you got your hair cut short," "Turquoise is not your colour," or any similar comment that is meant less to be helpful and more to make you self-conscious. Bonus: When it's directed at an already insecure, self-conscious teenager. Double bonus: When it involves pointing out the flaws in their complexion. Just what every teenager needs—their physical shortcomings highlighted. Triple bonus: When it's done in a loud voice in front of a group.

This affects me because people always tell me what I would look like if I lost weight. Yes, I am aware that I would look better and be healthier without it. Thank you for pointing out the obvious.

• When people touch you without permission. Pregnant women will recognise this one immediately since often strangers will walk up to them and reach out to touch their stomachs as though it's their right to. It's not.

Because I've got unusual hair, people are always touching it without asking if I mind. I do mind. I'm not an object to be groped by strangers. The funny thing is, if anyone did ask, I would say, "Yes, but don't gripe at me if it feels icky." :)

• When people give you the third degree about anything. "Where did you get this? Was it expensive? What colours did it come in? Did you get just the one?", etc., etc. Maybe it's because I'm introverted, but I don't appreciate being grilled over trivialities.

Miscellaneous

• When people litter. My favourite example: I saw a little boy dutifully walking to a garbage can to throw out his food wrapper. His mother looked at him scornfully and said, "Oh, just leave it there." He dropped it on the ground—and looked embarrassed about it, as he should have.
• When people complain but don't take action. If you don't like the way something is done, do something about it more constructive than whining.
• When people who walk slowly (obviously, other than those who have no choice), take up the whole sidewalk, stop suddenly, or in some way are totally oblivious to the fact they are space hogs. They are always surprised if they stop suddenly and I run into them. I can't help it. I'm not psychic and I do tend to walk somewhat fast.
• When people are chatty and gossipy about nothing just to hear themselves talk. Again, I'm an introvert. I like to talk as well as the next person, but I prefer it have some meaning or relevance.
• When people who pretend to be stupid, weak, or helpless so that they can manipulate others into doing things for them. I especially dislike it when women do this around men. I know one who is quite intelligent (she has a master's degree) and capable of holding her own in most conversations, except when a man (especially an attractive one) shows up, at which point she becomes one big twittering giggle as she looks at him like he's said something far too witty for little stupid her. Ironically, most men I've dealt with have no use for women like this, either, which gives me hope for the species.
• When people are manipulative in general. I started recognising this at a pretty early age.

Send me your beefs or go to http://www.slywy.com.

Updated 25 August 2004.