Our food and beverage department held a “Thanksgiving Unstuffed” event for employees, but I felt out of place and confused. There were two or three long tables; one was surrounded by women I didn’t know speaking a language that I didn’t know, and another was empty for no discernible reason. I didn’t know where to go. Then I found that the strange women had moved to the empty table, but somehow nothing else was available.
Someone asked me to stand up and speak about my past as a benefits consultant, but I didn’t know who would care or what I should say. In addition, two boyish young men from outside spoke and mingled with the people standing, but I did not know them or what they spoke about. They seemed to be oddly cheerful and somehow out of place. One of them gave me a businesslike hug before I left.
Later or the next day, he saw me on a bus and made a point of talking to me. He was different in some way, still cheerful but more authentic in behavior. When I went to get off the bus, he commented that I could not get away from him so easily. The hug he gave me this time was not at all businesslike, but earnest and intense.
I could not help but mull over who this strange young man was, what he had meant, what he wanted from me, and why he had singled me out for what appeared to be unusual attentions. Then it flashed on me that he had also kissed me passionately and urgently. I could remember only the fact, but not the act itself no matter how hard I tried. I wondered if I should want to see him again, but I was afraid to because I was so unsure about what had happened and what was meant.